A Boy Named Harry

His story started back in 16 September 1923

He was called to be anything but ordinary.

Telok Kurau was his primary school,

Which he noticed his classmates to be poor and not so smart too.

He got into Raffles Institution through his own merit,

Amongst the best, he worked hard to prove he wasn’t a dimwit.

Getting scholarships was like his second nature,

He ended as top student in Singapore and Malaya.

His education got disrupted during the World War II,

For survival, he worked as a clerk, transcriber and even sold his own glue.

The Japanese however always thought he was a threat,

Fortunately, he managed to escape the Sook Ching massacre’s blood shed

After the Japanese said Sayonara,

He went to England and graduated with a rare Double Starred.

He saw how the British abandoned Singapore,

And decided to come back to lead Singapore in case of any war.

On 12 November 1954, he started the ‘socialist’ People’s Action Party

Together with pro-Communists, they wanted to end the British rule ultimately

He won the Tanjong Pagar seat in 1955,

But had to contend with rivals both in and out of PAP in order to survive.

He was our first prime minister on 3 June 1959

While his estranged members started Barisan Sosialis when they were sidelined

He believed in the merger with Malaysia,

And on 16 September 1963, we were united with Sabah, Sarawak and Malaya

The marriage was not one filled with happiness,

The Malaysian government thought a majority Chinese PAP was dangerous

Racial riots got worse in 1964

And on 7 August 1965, he agreed to Tunku’s decision to expel Singapore.

We were now alone, this little red dot.

A lack of natural resources and limited defense left him distraught

On national television, he held back his tears,

Only because he knew that won’t help alleviate our fears.

Unknown to many, he had neglected his health subsequently

He took on the burden to consider his actions and consequences carefully

More and more immigrants started to come in 1970s-1980s

Together with his team, he focused on multiculturalism and built an unique identity

Throughout his term, he made radical decisions

Some may not agree with them, but no one can doubt he had a vision.

With the housing shortage, Singapore was once known as ‘the world’s worst slums’,

Slowly he moved his people from squatters to what it has now become.

He believed that education could build a nation

And so, he introduced bilingualism policy as part of integration

Slowly from a survival driven system,

It evolved to one on abilities, one that was not without wisdom

He knew we wouldn’t be able to survive any war or fight,

And so started the Armed Forces and seek help from Israel to set it right.

He knew without water from our neighbors we would die,

Recycling our own water was one of the things he knew we had to try.

Even with the demise of the love of his life,

He never forgot his love for his second wife.

He held this baby close to his heart

He was committed to not see it fall apart

This morning, saw a demise of a great man

One which we cannot deny, for Singapore at least, it was a God-sent

Without tubes and needles, you have been set free,

So rest well now Harry, 

And thank you for being that special leader to me. 

Picture taken from FoundingFatherSingapore

The Greatest Love

Many times, when D and I go out, friends always ask about the kids. "Great!" I will say, "they are still alive" While most times we laughed at the response, many don't know that to me, that's the best thing I feel each day when I wake up - to know that my kids are safe and alive.

I'm not sure if many realize but while we many be able to decide and control the amount of money we earn, the type of friends we hang out with, the spouse/partner to be with, the type of job to do, the gift of parenthood is one that's not based on one's merit and choice. That makes being mummy to Audrey, Isaac and Julian (and now no4) even more special. Because, even through my limitations, mistakes and unworthiness, the one above thinks i can love and be loved by ways more than one.

Yet the gift of parenthood comes with the gift of fear - fear that I will fail them as a mum, fear that I will not able to see them blossom, fear that I may not know what to do when something bad happens to them and the greatest one.. the fear I will lose them.

I was sharing with some friends that though I am at 18 weeks now, I don't really feel the movement of the baby… I am a little paranoid that something might happen to it, especially when now I seem to see quite a bit of Facebook postings on stillborns and failed pregnancies etc. I can't help at times to wonder if it is a sign to prepare me for the worse. 

Many didn't know, but between Isaac and Julian, I had a failed pregnancy. Though it was only 7-8 weeks then, I remembered for some nights subsequently I actually broke down and wondered if I could have done anything different to protect that baby… But the pregnancy ended and though 3 months later I was given Julian, the pain of losing that baby will always be there. 

Of all the funerals that I have attended, the most painful ones are those when the parents have to bury their child, because when they lay their child to rest, a part of their hearts goes down with them. 

Lent helps me to reflect how much then God loves me (and you… and basically everyone on earth). Isn't it the greatest irony that the carpenter's son was to be hammered onto a cross and left there to die? I mean, all the while Christ could be a fisherman's son or whatever… but growing up for him was playing with the tools that one day will kill him. And God the Father knows but all He would do was to let it happen.

If you haven't had the chance to listen to this song - Sacrifice by Bob Fitts, I highly recommend that you take some time to watch it on youtube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc8bXQ0ytD8). In short, this song was on how Abraham was brought to the test of sacrificing the one child whom he had been waiting for basically all his life…

The song writes the pain and struggle of the Abraham as he walks up the hill to sacrifice his son who essentially is his dreams, hopes and his everything. 

The songs ends asking us to consider that love when God chose to sacrifice Jesus just to save us. Of course, He is God… and with a snap of his fingers (if he even wants to do it) everyone will be saved, but just to make us understand how much love He has for us, He had to sacrifice his son. (I mean isn't it easier to just kill yourself than to sacrifice your child?)

So… Thank you Father… for time and again reminding me that I'm specially made according to Your plan. Thank you for giving me the reassurance that no matter what happens, You will always carry me through… And i pray that should the time come for me to obey, your sacrifice gives me the strength to say yes. 

A journey of 9 years as a Mrs...

The much talked about pi-day came and gone. How was that special for you? It didn't make much difference except the fact that 9 years ago, D and I legally became husband and wife. I'm sure it would be more romantic if D actually remembered that it was today and not 16.3.2006.

While strolling in the park..

M: You know what day it is today?

D: (He looked at me…) It's not today. It's 16/3 (I have to say, it feels good being with someone who knows what you are thinking.)

M: What's on 16/3?

D: Our ROM lah. You very horrible very dates.

M: My dear, we registered on the 14?

D: Please… my memory better than you… wanna bet?

M: You must be getting old, it is 14.

D: I'm very confident.

(I laughed. Boy I love it when I get to prove him wrong… I took my phone and looked through my archive mail… Finally, I found the email that had the booking for the restaurant for 14/3/2006. The taste of victory never got sweeter…)

M: Your memory still good?

(D looked through the email…)

D: Yes… see.. it's on 16.3. I'm right. (whatever… I knew i got him… like WHY would you doubt a woman on her wedding date? It's not like asking her when Singapore was forced to surrender… Ok in case you didn't know it's 15/2/1942)

Oh and why I chose 14/3? I don't know if you guys remember the pager phase, when 143 actually means I love you? :)

After the stroll, we met some friends for dinner… and they were all surprised that he was able to sit there and enjoy himself. 

But yes… while the Mr got the date mixed up, I know that he loves me… and that's more important. So  today, i took some time to slowly go through the emails we used to send to each other when we were dating. (If you have the time and chance to do so, read those mails again… You will be laughing at times, tearing at some but smiling all the time) I was actually quite romantic when I was 21… Ha.. okay maybe more to cheesy and really quite high maintenance. I read some of the emails and even I couldn't carry on… (What the hell was I thinking????) And D had to put up with it and even replied them… (I told you he loves me…)

One of the emails that caught my attention was an email that I wrote to him attaching a letter to my future husband. Since I hope you will be able to last through this whole blog entry, I will just copy and paste a small portion of what is interesting in the letter…

One day, my looks will fade, my busts will sag, my body will go fat but i hope you will always see me as ur beautiful princess just like how when my hearing and vision fail... i will take extra effort to listen to you and close my eyes to your weaknesses... and love me darling... not because of my hair length or whatsoever... but when compared to another girl.. your eyes will still be attracted to me.. regardless how interesting the other person's teeth may be, how smooth and soft her hair may be, how witty and loud she makes you laugh, how great her figure is complimented with her cup C or D busts... just like how i know u are the one for me.. over john, joseph, bryan, lester, adrian.. blah blah.. i might take a little longer time to digest the differences... but i am sure at the end of the day.. if u wait for a while longer, my answer would be you still and i dun want anyone else…

(Okay I really don't know who the guys are… but that's not really the point in that really… ) 

This was written when I was about 21 (Gawd… I was so young…) and it's amazing how we managed to stick by each other through it all… See when I was younger, I was more insecure, possessive, very easily jealous… In short, I was just young and irritating.. :)

That made me reflect on this bible verse… and appreciate it more…

Love is always patient and kind; love is never jealous; love is not boastful or conceited

It is never rude and never seeks its own advantage, it does not take offense or store up grievances 

I remembered for one of the wedding masses I attended, a priest actually asked, ever since when love makes one patient, kind, not jealous, not boastful or conceited? Which lover will not be rude (I suppose when angry) and not love for self's advantage? How does one not take offense or be okay when things go bad?

Probably when we love based on the mere ability of human.

It's not love per se, but with God, that loving becomes 'unnatural'. Of course, you may be a person with no faith and still be in a wonderful relationship. But all I am saying is that because I have faith, loving becomes easier to understand and show. Loving D was not based on how I wanted to love, but how he needed to be love. :) 

So on pi-day, I'm thankful that God has given me a glimpse of what His love to me can me… Through D. Thank you D… for showing me what heaven is like… even for someone as undeserving as me. :)

P.S. Why isn't Pi-day on 22/7????