|At this point friends, please pray for mothers going through times like these…..|
Monday, April 20, 2015
When You Laughed.. Because of your child.
Compared to many of the mummies I see, I'm possibly one of the laziest mothers who doesn't bother with the child's milestones. (I do remember when they are born though!)
Okay but ask me when they took their first steps, what their first words were, when their first tooth came out etc, I have absolutely no idea. We also hardly take photos of them (so their future wedding montage, if it's still an in-thing, would have to be animated) or with them… I don't know if my excuse is because I'm too busy or tired… Or if I have always thought that there will be the next time.. Or I will remember…
Well, I don't… and I didn't… (So if you are one of those like me… You won't too!)
I did wish I could turn back time… And I did get curious as to what other mothers would wish for… And… Hmm… My heart just broke reading what people googled on….
Mother's regret is always something that bugged me. I do have mine too.. Like last year, Audrey was still rude to my mum (after many times of talking about it with her), I got really upset and I slapped her (on her face…). I am very strict with my kids, but honestly, as far as possible, I don't resort to slapping or caning. I regretted that while I taught her patience, I didn't practice that with her. And to be fair I was more upset of the loss of face of her being rude than just her being rude.
After that, fortunately, D stepped in and spent one on one time with her while I went for a friend's wedding. I did feel bad and fortunately kids have the most amazing ability to forgive (okay but that doesn't mean I would encourage anyone to abuse it) and with a hug and a kiss, all was made up.
Yet, I realized missing milestones aren't the biggest regret I had. Missing the everyday moments is. So my question and challenge to parents.. Do you remember when was the last time your child made you laugh? Was it today? Was it yesterday or was it last week?
I'm the disciplinarian in the house, and when my kids behave badly, it will be very much highlighted in my radar. I decided a few days back, instead of focusing on things that the kids did wrong, I should look at the times of the day when they got it right or at least when they didn't mean to do wrong. (I'm VERY sure there are more right things than wrong)
Like yesterday, I was at Watson's with Julian. A male-looking woman came and help me to look out for some products. After she finished, Julian asked what did the "uncle" say to me. (she was still beside me…) I almost fainted from embarrassment and I whispered to him it's an auntie. He took a double look and said "No mummy, I meant the uncle" (this time in a whisper) I laughed. Not sure whether it was because at him being confused or him just following my cue of whispering (in hope that the lady didn't hear)
So I laughed. And yesterday I laughed more than once (Like when he called his playmate Gloria, Gorilla). It wasn't one of those days that I had tasted success in anything in their milestones.. but it was one of the days that it doesn't matter… and it shouldn't for most days.
Normally when in the car or at dinners, I would be busy fiddling my phone (darn technology), checking out Facebook (darn technology) or just google on anything interesting (darn technology). When the kids get too noisy or start to say things that didn't make sense, I would then shush them up.
For the past few days however, I made the conscious effort to listen to their conversations… Not that it made more sense now, but I know one day, these nonsense will stop and if I don't focus on them, their conversations with me would just answered with the word(s) like "ok", "Ya" or "Don't know".
Dinner times, I would switch it to silent mode and put it in the bag and just focusing on eating as a family with them. The other day, we let the kids try wasabi (just a little bit) and their expressions were hilarious!
Yesterday, I put away my phone when we drove off for dinner, and turned around to check on the kids. Audrey's smile caught my attention. She smiled so beautifully… and I'm glad I wasn't on the phone, because I would have missed that image.
Regrets isn't God's way to make you feel guilty. It's His reminder that you can do things better. :)