Friday, October 23, 2015

That's Good… Enough.

When I tell people that I have four kids, one of the most common response I get is "You must really like kids". I do like them… but mostly when they sleep or when they are in my mind…
Before you judge, let me intro you my kids with the picture below...

Image taken from pinterest
It's not surprising when they become monsters (and I mean literally) these are the top phrases I use almost everyday:
1) Stop it!
2) What did I say?
3) Why did you do that?
4) What are you doing?
(And the classic…)
5) 1… 2… 3…

If words can't get to them, my hand will. Then… there's peace again. (even if it's only for 5 minutes)

Motherhood is probably the most amazing experience ever, but it may not be enjoyable. (p.s. He/she who said it was, is lying)
Try enjoying it when you are sound asleep at 3 a.m. and your child wakes you up for milk or kicks you in the face because both of you are sleeping on the same bed.
Or when you are out in public, and your kid misbehaves and later wails and throws a tantrum.. That's not fun either.
When you bring them out for dinner, and either you or your spouse take turns to eat (when they are younger) or you have to feed them first (oh they eat sososo slowly…) and after which you have to gobble down yours because they become restless waiting for you.
When you tell them to do something and they don't do it and even (dare to) say no. (Hello it's not even a choice!! What you mean "No"?!?!) Trust me, for a control freak, this is painful.
Worse when some "know-it-all" comes along and tells you what you do isn't right, it can be demoralizing. (Like thanks ah)

Honestly, I suspect God created motherhood to give women a greater chance to enter heaven, especially after what Eve did to Adam. (Picture taken from

At times, I wonder what is it that I am not doing it right when I read other mummy blogs or mummy posts on FB and see my friends enjoying motherhood and their children while I find myself struggling with it. (And I do feel guilty about not enjoying it)
It doesn't help that we get constant reminders that their time with us is limited since they grow up so fast. (Before I know it, I'll probably be a grandma..)

Judging at how many times I have to discipline them when they don't share and fight with each other (it's a lot… in a day) and the things we get to do together (It's limited, and I suspect I'm going to raise boring kids)… I don't see how I am getting this right. Maybe because they are older now and can do more things (which most likely are the wrong ones), most time spent with them would be to discipline and to correct their actions. I don't know if it is because of what they did that made me more irritable, but I just can't seem to find how people can have fun being a mother. (I know.. I have 4 kids… we are screwed)

Fortunately, there's such a thing as divine intervention. (Thank God for.. God!)
During the meet the parents session in the boys' school, the teachers commended Julian for being patient and always waiting for his friends before embarking on an activity. And for Isaac, he is always that caring brother who looks out for Julian in school, making sure he is comfortable in the new environment. (They should just stay in school the whole day I say…)

In the midst of the mistakes and struggles, something right happen.
And as I sit down that day for my daily reflection, I came to realize that maybe I was trying to be a mummy that was wayyyy too perfect. I was trying to be that laughing parent we see in ads and dramas. Not that I never laugh in my journey as a mother, but truth be told, it's probably not something that happens everyday.

Maybe I will never be that fun parent when compared to other mummies. To be honest, I won't bother with inconveniencing myself to bring them all over the island for enrichment programs. I mean I struggle to plan where to bring my kids during the holidays even!
But I do know that when my child needs me, I will still drop everything and be with him/her immediately.
Or after a disciplining session, I will be the first to offer them a hug and kiss to remind them that I still love them, just not the act.

I am a believer that God gives us the type of children who are best for us. Different mummies will have different journeys with their own kids, and even if we make a mistake, the fact that we are trying day after day… trust me, that's good… enough. :)

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