Thursday, April 6, 2017

Are You Feeling Lonely, Mummy?

I don't regret having children. I feel immensely blessed that God would trust them with me, and if something were to happen to them, it will probably just kill me.
So yes, without a doubt, I love them. I may not act crazy over them all the time, but they are my everything. Yet, with this amount of love for them, it does not stop me from feeling that being a parent is a lonely, if not the loneliest, job ever. (Don't ask me how can this even be possible when I have four kids

Image taken from figuresandfabulous.com
Many people would warn you about how being parents would change your life, but no one really tells you how lonely you will be as one.

Even if your partner is present, even if you get to sleep till 9a.m. or have a nap in the afternoons, even if you have a whole village to help look after your kids, even if you get time off to meet your friends, even if you can go for a holiday without the kids, you will still be lonely. 

Whenever parents meet, somehow, the topic of the kids will come up. We will relate to each other how we are struggling with our kids, our frustrations we go through each day with the kids or even how we can cope better. And 99.99% we can see us in each other.
When we get so frustrated studying with our kids, the times when we cannot stand our kids because of their attitude, the times when we have power struggles with the in-laws, the times when we are lost and don't know what to do… we had either cried over it or just sleep on it because we are too tired. 
But even when we can relate with each other, come the very next day, nothing has changed.

Most of us will have and can have the same struggles. But just because everyone has it doesn't mean it will bring us any form of comfort..
Often when all is quiet and I feel I'm all alone and thinking about the whole (usually bad)  day can make me cry, I'm reminded of how loneliness is probably God's cry for time with me
And all I just need to say is… nothing. No need to justify, no need to even start saying what or how things go bad. When I don't need to try to be strong and be okay. 

So from a lonely mummy to another…. know this: one of the gifts of parenthood is loneliness, whether you like it or not. But loneliness isn't bad and it does get better, when you allow God in to fill you... at least his love will. :) 

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