A Boy Named Harry

His story started back in 16 September 1923

He was called to be anything but ordinary.

Telok Kurau was his primary school,

Which he noticed his classmates to be poor and not so smart too.

He got into Raffles Institution through his own merit,

Amongst the best, he worked hard to prove he wasn’t a dimwit.

Getting scholarships was like his second nature,

He ended as top student in Singapore and Malaya.

His education got disrupted during the World War II,

For survival, he worked as a clerk, transcriber and even sold his own glue.

The Japanese however always thought he was a threat,

Fortunately, he managed to escape the Sook Ching massacre’s blood shed

After the Japanese said Sayonara,

He went to England and graduated with a rare Double Starred.

He saw how the British abandoned Singapore,

And decided to come back to lead Singapore in case of any war.

On 12 November 1954, he started the ‘socialist’ People’s Action Party

Together with pro-Communists, they wanted to end the British rule ultimately

He won the Tanjong Pagar seat in 1955,

But had to contend with rivals both in and out of PAP in order to survive.

He was our first prime minister on 3 June 1959

While his estranged members started Barisan Sosialis when they were sidelined

He believed in the merger with Malaysia,

And on 16 September 1963, we were united with Sabah, Sarawak and Malaya

The marriage was not one filled with happiness,

The Malaysian government thought a majority Chinese PAP was dangerous

Racial riots got worse in 1964

And on 7 August 1965, he agreed to Tunku’s decision to expel Singapore.

We were now alone, this little red dot.

A lack of natural resources and limited defense left him distraught

On national television, he held back his tears,

Only because he knew that won’t help alleviate our fears.

Unknown to many, he had neglected his health subsequently

He took on the burden to consider his actions and consequences carefully

More and more immigrants started to come in 1970s-1980s

Together with his team, he focused on multiculturalism and built an unique identity

Throughout his term, he made radical decisions

Some may not agree with them, but no one can doubt he had a vision.

With the housing shortage, Singapore was once known as ‘the world’s worst slums’,

Slowly he moved his people from squatters to what it has now become.

He believed that education could build a nation

And so, he introduced bilingualism policy as part of integration

Slowly from a survival driven system,

It evolved to one on abilities, one that was not without wisdom

He knew we wouldn’t be able to survive any war or fight,

And so started the Armed Forces and seek help from Israel to set it right.

He knew without water from our neighbors we would die,

Recycling our own water was one of the things he knew we had to try.

Even with the demise of the love of his life,

He never forgot his love for his second wife.

He held this baby close to his heart

He was committed to not see it fall apart

This morning, saw a demise of a great man

One which we cannot deny, for Singapore at least, it was a God-sent

Without tubes and needles, you have been set free,

So rest well now Harry, 

And thank you for being that special leader to me. 

Picture taken from FoundingFatherSingapore

How do you discipline your kids?

We were having dinner with some of our friends and the topic of the disciplining of children came up. Some talked about spanking, while others talked about reasoning. Regardless, chances are there will be ONE parent who does the disciplining while the other uses that parent as a threat.

D is the fun-loving parent. He has the patience to play with them, to reason with them and to just have fun with them. The kids adore him and will choose to play with him over me ANY time.

But just because he plays with them doesn't mean that the kids listen to him when it is time for disciplining. Hence D's favorite line "I tell Mummy.." (In fact, that's everyone's favorite line)

D and I (mainly I) tried many ways of disciplining… From spanking to reward charts to reasoning to the ever famous naughty corners. There were a few times each worked, but there were times when the methods fell flat. 

Of course, when Audrey was in Cherrybrook Kindergarten, the tutor taught us some methods that we actually found more effective than others! So here's a write up on the reviews of the methods we tried:

1) Naughty Corner

D and I started the naughty corner with Audrey. Audrey knew how to count and initially when we started this, we would get Audrey to go to a corner and count to 10 before coming back.

M: Go to that corner and count to 10

(After Audrey finishes her counting, she comes back)

M: Are you ready to behave?

A: No

M: Okay fine. Go back there and count to 20

(Happily walks to a corner and counts. After so, she comes back and reports)

M: Are you ready to behave?

A: Yes

M: Are you now willing to listen to mummy and sit still? 

A: Yes (And she gives you the biggest smile ever and is more receptive on being disciplined)

The ever famous spot in our house...

You can say that it was easy but to even put her in the spot initially was hell… in fact, it was really painful to get all 3 of them to stay at the spot at first. You put them there, they move and run away from the corner. I lost count of how many times we had to carry them back to the spot. But they get the idea at one point. They can't win the parent (mummy in this case) and after a while, they just stay there until they have cooled down. 

The naughty corner works best when our kids throw a tantrum. (Do note that if they are tired, this is probably one method which will drain you out most. At such times, I hardly use this method or if I do, it will be for short periods) It makes them cool down and lets them realize that their tantrums won't get them anywhere.

2) Spanking 

All our kids have been spanked. But we draw the line on using the cane. While we both got caned by our parents and we are fine, D isn't comfortable with that. He believes that there are better methods than that. I listened to his stand and respected it. (He's their father regardless) We didn't know how we will discipline the kids subsequently, but we tried not to consider caning as an option.

However, we still spank them regardless. We do so mainly when they are stubborn or when they are disrespectful. 

3) Reward Chart

The ever popular stickers used...

We tried once… and only once. (and we didn't even finish it) To be fair, as much as it catches everyone's interest at first, sustaining it is another matter all together. That's our problem. It was hard work to keep track of their good behavior and giving them stickers for it everyday. 

But we also felt at one point, they were only behaving because they want to rewarded, not because they learnt the better thing to do.

What's worse is that this system depends heavily on their moods. If they felt like it, they behave and asked for their stickers, if they didn't, they still went back their old ways. Also, Audrey being the competitive one, always tried to have more stars on her chart than Isaac. After a while, D and I thought it wasn't exactly one of the best system and we discontinued it.

4) Asking "What" questions 

It is common that we always ask the children "Why", like "Why aren't you sharing your toys?" or "Why didn't you behave yourself".. etc. Audrey's tutor in Cherrybrooks taught us that asking why questions usually create a stumbling block. The children at one point, may not understand why they did so, and another they aren't sure what answer the adult is trying to get so that they will not be in trouble.

So we ask "What" questions instead.

Isaac was sitting on the sofa with his legs stretched out. Audrey wanted to sit at the edge of the sofa, however, Isaac was insistent not to let her do so, despite her asking nicely.

M: Isaac, can you move your legs and let her sit on the sofa?

I: No

M: What is stopping you from moving your legs?

I: (thought for a while) Nothing..

M: If nothing is stopping you, can you let her sit?

I: No

M: Okay. Is there anything I can do to help that?

I: No.

M: So is anything stopping you to move your legs again?

I: No

M: Can you now move your legs and let her sit?

I: Okay. 

Apparently, "What" questions make it less threatening. You may want to consider using that, this is one of the highly recommended methods!

5) Focus on what virtue can be practiced

A list of virtues that the school focuses on...

One of the reasons why I like Cherrybrook Kindergarten is their emphasis on virtues. Like some afternoons when Audrey sits and does her revision work with me, she does have her moments of procrastinating and gets distracted.

A: Mummy, I don't want to do already

M: Audrey, you are almost done. You just have half a page left. Can you practice some perseverance and self-discipline and finish it? After which, you can take a short break.

A: (thought for a while) okay…

So instead of saying to your child, "Don't be shy.", another way is to say "Let's practice the virtue of courage and friendliness and make some friends". My kids still need some encouragement here and there, but with consistency, they are getting there. Saying things like "Shy" or "Lazy" just highlights and gives them the reason to continue behaving the way they were, there was nothing (positive) for them to work on.

Whatever methods I use, I always end the discipline session with a hug and a kiss, reminding them that I love them a lot.

Discipling is a pain, but lack of discipline is worse. Do you have any methods that you use and don't mind sharing? Hope to hear stories from you too! 

When You have a Bad Parenting Day

I started this blog about two weeks back thinking it would just be a reflection of my life as a parent and wife. (Ok… D thinks I did so because I was just bored…)

I did hope I wasn't just writing to myself but I didn't expect people to actually read my blog. But… people do (Thanks for the free kite! Now… if only I can get a car…. :) ) And (almost) everyday, I get messages to tell me that they enjoyed reading the blog and it had inspired them in their day or journey as a mummy. I even got compliments on doing a good job (I feel like it's time to run for Mrs Singapore..)

In case you didn't know which car… BTW, I am not a fan of pineapples… and white will do :D

And while it seemed like I did inspire people (Ha! I know… it's unreal), I am just like any of you too - Clueless (maybe a little better than the parent with 1 child), irritable and just… ordinary. 

I too had my share of bad days and doubts. I remembered when Audrey was just 1 week old, the confinement nanny had to go to get her passport stamped, and I was alone with her. Well, let's just say I'm glad God made them hardy, because within that short 1.5 hrs with her, not only I couldn't get her to latch on well (who ever said breastfeeding was natural???), I kinda knocked her nose while changing her clothes (It's an accident!) It was a nightmare! 

There was another time when Audrey was a baby, and she just couldn't stop fussing, I wanted to teach her a lesson to stop crying so much. (Like what was i thinking… teach a baby not to cry?!?) I raised my voice at her, in the hope of disciplining her, but in the end, she just got louder and I got irritated and frustrated and I just got the helper to take over while I just cried in the room. (yes… i know… loser)

But as any other mummy (or parent) would tell me, it is normal. And in case you need a reminder, this is for you..

1) Mummy's bad day… is usually just for ONE day.

No matter how terrible that day was for me, after I wake up the next day, chances are it gets better. The next day the kids forget you even scolded them the day before, their eyes light up when they see you and they just drop everything and run to you. (Doesn't that amaze you on their gift of forgiveness?) And that moment just made up for whatever bad day you had yesterday. 

Now, if everyday seems like hell to you, then you are having depression or the blues. This is serious… Talk to someone about it… 

2) Yesterday's failures doesn't mean I've failed.

Is this an egg or not???

Remember the ever famous egg blog when I shared about how I failed my test as a mum? Sure, on hindsight, I have learnt certain things that I could do better - look at her small successes than her minor failures. 

And I have to learn that lesson myself. To look at my other small successes along the way and not just that incident because it doesn't define me as a mum. Like even after a hectic day, I still am able to plan and cook a family dinner (for 9) by 7pm. 

So yes, cheer up, you still got another chance to better yourself. :)

3) Know that you are not alone

The best journeys are the ones travelled
with someone who loves you…. as much
as you love them… 

I'm grateful that whenever I doubt myself, I can turn to my friends and D for support. They may not offer any advice, but just by letting me pour out my frustrations and just let me cry it out, it's enough.

D may not agree with how I cope with my negative emotions at times, but he doesn't judge me. He doesn't agree with how I may choose to show my negative emotions (be it anger or sadness), but he doesn't tell me that I shouldn't feel that way. (I think because of that, he should just get the Husband of the Year award already!) He listens to me rant, doesn't judge me and ends up asking me if I need a drink. (Ha! Don't you love him too?) 

4) Guidelines should just be a guide

Sure, there are many studies which tell you how certain things you do will make your child develop better etc. When God gave you a child, besides giving you enough love to protect and nurture the kid, He also equipped you with some intelligence and intuition to know what your child is like and how you  can be a better mummy to that kid. So if those guidelines stress you more than help you, ditch them on that bad mummy day… Go with the flow and enjoy your kids.

5) Even if you think you are a bad mummy, your kids don't

I think this is the one that takes the cake. Not every comment I received so far is positive, though with 1 of those I get, I have 8 more that are encouraging. Sometimes I wonder if I had opened my life to criticism when all I wanted to do was to share with people some positive energy on motherhood and I forget that my duty is towards my children and not to the rest of the world. I can't tell you the many times when my kids hugged and kissed me and tell me they think I'm pretty (ha.. they are not joking…), that they love me tops (okay.. sometimes it drops to the 3rd place after daddy and their dolls), or when they perform on stage they look out for D and me and not care whether the rest of the world sees them, and when at night, they choose to snuggle up to me even when during the day I would be disciplining them… 

The list goes on… but nothing can deny that you are your child's superhero… and they are yours. 

So trot on fellow parents… You are not alone, and you are doing just fine. Anyone who tells you otherwise, probably don't have any kids of their own. :) My prayers are specially with you today… :)

Share with me if you have any other times when you feel like your day is terrible, and how something got you going. :) 

What ONLY a mother of three can tell you...

I may just be 33 years old this year, but compared to many people, I have the luxury that not many have - to experience the journey of having 3 kids. :) With that, someone asked me to share what I learnt as a mummy so far. (I mean you could have three kids, but reading for most is much easier… )

So here goes….

1) The first kid is always the hardest. 

Looking back, it was hardest for us to be parents to no1 than any of the kids. We had no idea what to expect, so many things to read (half of which I have already forgotten), everyone had their "two cents" worth (which honestly, it will be better if they had kept quiet and gave us cash) and basically, your life is turned upside down because of one small being…

And that's just ONE of the MANY tests I did...

I remembered after Audrey was born, D and I actually had a tough time appreciating each other. (I mean I even considered separation…) I had post baby blues and I hated how i looked in the mirror. When i wanted to eat, so did Audrey. Sure I read about breast-fed babies need to be fed every 2 hrs… but NOBODY said each breastfeeding session was 30-45min (especially if you are a first time mummy and your milk supply hasn't kicked in). So effectively, you are breastfeeding every 1 hr. With breastfeeding comes breast engorgement, which is damn painful. My breasts at one point were uneven since I produced more on one side… So I had one boob slightly bigger than the other. (BTW, just a tip.. cradle hold helps engorgement if the inner side is engorged, a football cradle eases the engorgement on the outer side.)

My diet, bathing styles and routine was significantly disrupted.

I thought D wasn't being supportive and D thought that when I gave birth, I lost my mind. It was horrible. At one point, I was giving him the cold shoulder… which only ended when he broke the ice and listened to what I was going through. 

(If you didn't go through this.. you automatically qualify for no 2,3 and 4.. :) and according to many of my friends the government will love you for this… but until now, I am still waiting for that commendation letter from the prime minister...)

2) If the dad had wanted a boy as a firstborn, chances are it will be a girl

I have witnessed many of our friends starting a family of their own. Many of the dads (D included) seemed very sure that they will conceive a boy. It was like a statement they tell their peers that they are able to produce an heir… and the first one is a boy. Maybe it's just something they are able to relate better to. Who knows? But from all the guy friends who thought that their wives are definitely having a boy… I look forward to seeing their look when it turns out to be a girl. :)
(Let's just say if there's a way for God to play a prank on them, this is one very successful way.)

D thought that I would be having a boy too. Even when we went for a thorough scan and after the doctor confirming that it was a girl, he wondered if there would be a mistake. (This all ended when I got upset at his behavior) When Audrey was born however, he fell in love with her instantly. Until now, she has a special footing in his heart. 

So yes, while it is true the dads had wished for a boy at first, after seeing their first born, they won't have asked for anything different. :)

3) You will truly enjoy motherhood at No 3

When you have the first kid, everyone rushes to compete with you for that baby's attention. The only time when you get the baby back is when it's time to feed in the middle of the night. Our parents would always come and comment about our style of looking after the baby and suggest a "better" way to do so, undermining what you intend to do, especially when you are a young parent. In short, you just feel lousy.

Art piece by Isaac of him and his siblings

When no 2 comes, you will suffer another set of problems, mainly parent's guilt. Suddenly your first-born is no more the baby in the family. He/she is forced to grow up. As a mum, you suddenly cannot do as many things with your no 1 as you did before because the younger one needs you. Spending too much time with the younger one, makes you feel bad that you have left your older one out. Spending too much time with the older one, makes you feel terrible because the second is neglected. If you think you will be able to spend equal amount of time with both, you might. But chances are, either the older one will demand more time from you or that would just tire you out.

In comes no 3. NO ONE tells you what to do and what not to do already (they either don't bother or they don't dare). You don't compete with the helper/parents to do everything for the baby. Things like washing the butt, making milk etc suddenly make you realize there's no value add if you personally did it. As long as it is done, it is just as well it is outsourced. 

The kids play by themselves and they don't bother you as much, leaving you some time with the baby (without guilt). You don't need to buy some welcome gift for the older siblings and say it's from the youngest, because a good part of their lives they are already used to siblings and one more won't hurt. In fact if anything, the first two are really quite excited meeting the new baby. :)

4) Love is multiplied and not divided

Love in the heart is not the same as water in a jug. It is not a fixed amount which with each cup, becomes lesser. Ironically, with another child, you will be amazed by how much more patient you become, how much more tolerant you are to mistakes, how much more you can forgive and not hold grudges, how much kinder you are to a crying kid (who's not yours) in public… (you just learnt the true meaning of 1 Corinthians 13!) But of course with each child who teach you that, you also become older, have lesser sleep and eat faster.
And yes, I do admit that I have a soft spot for Julian because he's the youngest who spends the most time with me, but each of them means a lot to me. :)

Back in 07.07.07

5) Your greatest love at ALL times has got to be your spouse
If anything, this has to be the number 1 rule of all times. With kids, love in the family is not like a food chain where Daddy loves mummy, mummy loves children… and children love their toys.
I was first a Mrs before I became the kids' mother. The kids actually appreciate this fact. They like it when we kiss each other, when we hold hands, and even feed each other! They may giggle and cover their eyes once a while (nothing graphic here…) but deep down they are really happy to know that daddy and mummy are securely one. :)
Does anyone realize that in the olden times, marriages seem to work better than the ones now? I suspect it's largely because people love the one they married and not marry the one they love. It makes a difference, because one requires commitment.

Of course, there's other things like not buying the cot and strollers before the baby comes and don't sweat about breastfeeding but those are personal preference. (A stroller is like another child, esp if you don't have a car. It becomes really annoying to fold and unfold at different parts of your journey. While the baby may end up on your bed most times rather than on the cot because of breastfeeding) Also, sometimes in life, we only learn by making that mistakes ourselves rather than listening what people say. Just like how people learn mahjong, we just learn through paying… :)

These are not big principles… in fact some are common sensical. But sometimes common sense is not so common. :)

The Greatest Love

Many times, when D and I go out, friends always ask about the kids. "Great!" I will say, "they are still alive" While most times we laughed at the response, many don't know that to me, that's the best thing I feel each day when I wake up - to know that my kids are safe and alive.

I'm not sure if many realize but while we many be able to decide and control the amount of money we earn, the type of friends we hang out with, the spouse/partner to be with, the type of job to do, the gift of parenthood is one that's not based on one's merit and choice. That makes being mummy to Audrey, Isaac and Julian (and now no4) even more special. Because, even through my limitations, mistakes and unworthiness, the one above thinks i can love and be loved by ways more than one.

Yet the gift of parenthood comes with the gift of fear - fear that I will fail them as a mum, fear that I will not able to see them blossom, fear that I may not know what to do when something bad happens to them and the greatest one.. the fear I will lose them.

I was sharing with some friends that though I am at 18 weeks now, I don't really feel the movement of the baby… I am a little paranoid that something might happen to it, especially when now I seem to see quite a bit of Facebook postings on stillborns and failed pregnancies etc. I can't help at times to wonder if it is a sign to prepare me for the worse. 

Many didn't know, but between Isaac and Julian, I had a failed pregnancy. Though it was only 7-8 weeks then, I remembered for some nights subsequently I actually broke down and wondered if I could have done anything different to protect that baby… But the pregnancy ended and though 3 months later I was given Julian, the pain of losing that baby will always be there. 

Of all the funerals that I have attended, the most painful ones are those when the parents have to bury their child, because when they lay their child to rest, a part of their hearts goes down with them. 

Lent helps me to reflect how much then God loves me (and you… and basically everyone on earth). Isn't it the greatest irony that the carpenter's son was to be hammered onto a cross and left there to die? I mean, all the while Christ could be a fisherman's son or whatever… but growing up for him was playing with the tools that one day will kill him. And God the Father knows but all He would do was to let it happen.

If you haven't had the chance to listen to this song - Sacrifice by Bob Fitts, I highly recommend that you take some time to watch it on youtube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc8bXQ0ytD8). In short, this song was on how Abraham was brought to the test of sacrificing the one child whom he had been waiting for basically all his life…

The song writes the pain and struggle of the Abraham as he walks up the hill to sacrifice his son who essentially is his dreams, hopes and his everything. 

The songs ends asking us to consider that love when God chose to sacrifice Jesus just to save us. Of course, He is God… and with a snap of his fingers (if he even wants to do it) everyone will be saved, but just to make us understand how much love He has for us, He had to sacrifice his son. (I mean isn't it easier to just kill yourself than to sacrifice your child?)

So… Thank you Father… for time and again reminding me that I'm specially made according to Your plan. Thank you for giving me the reassurance that no matter what happens, You will always carry me through… And i pray that should the time come for me to obey, your sacrifice gives me the strength to say yes. 

When a triangle becomes a diamond/square...

It's been about 1 week since I started blogging… Throughout the week, I have friends and strangers dropping me a note telling me that whilst they don't normally read blogs, they do find what I write interesting and at (most) times inspiring… (I'm sure that's largely because they never expected me to be that 'wise'.. ) It was quite humbling to know that even one of my teachers back in school was actually reading my blog (Aww… you know who you are.. and with that, thank you for your quiet support )

Somehow my experiences, as mundane and simple, were something they could relate to and at times made them re-evaluate their choices in life. (Awww…) It does seem my struggles as essentially a wife and mother are not mine alone. The only thing that was different was I talked about it and added in how I grew from it. Of course, while many may not have down the same as I have, I hope it had at least provided you a glimpse as to what could have happen if you so did the same as me. (After all, we don't need to touch fire to know it burns)

And somehow, of all the entries I wrote, nothing beats the one on Audrey's test. Till date, that alone has received 16200 views (and it is increasing as I type…) That post went 'viral'. It struck a chord with parents, educators and even students. People from Australia, America, UK, Indonesia and even South Korea could identify with it. With that I also have received some comments that if I had been too harsh on Audrey. Maybe I did, but the key take away was not that I was harsh. It was I failed to celebrate her small successes and hopefully I had subsequently inspire her to do better in her next test. I admitted that I failed my test as a mum, but I was not shy to admit it and I shared what I would do differently next.

But I do wish that mothers and teachers could share with me how they have been proven otherwise before by their students. That the child had seen or done something before because it was something that as adults we have overlooked on our part.

I share another example with you…
When I was a trainee teacher, my professor always told us to be mindful how we draw our triangles.

Most times when we introduce a triangle to young kids especially, we tend to draw our triangles as should in Figure 1. I did a symmetry class with a P3 (9 year olds) then and I too did show them over the projector a triangle like that. 

Me: Class, do you know what shape is this?

Class: Triangle.

M: Very good. (I slowly inverted the triangle until the tip was at the base in front of them) Now class, what is this shape?

C: Square (said some) NO! diamond! (said others… essentially i have every shape but triangle)

M: Ok. Calm down. (I inverted the triangle back to Figure 1 again) Let's try again. What shape is this?

C: (in unison) Triangle.

M: (I tried inverting to Figure 2 again with them witnessing it) And this?

(Again the class responded with anything but triangle… and no i can't continue teaching symmetry if they can't get this right)

How is that possible?? With that I switched off the projector, and I called a girl up.

M: Class, what's her name?

C: Ying Xi

M: Okay. (I asked YX to sit) Class, who is she?

C: Ying Xi

M: Very good. (Now i asked YX to turn around with her back facing them) Class who is she? 

C: Ying Xi (The class was starting to giggle… obviously, they are either getting it or they thought I was dumb)

M: (Now i got YX to bend over) Class who is she?

C: YING XI! (okay… they finally got what I wanted to say)

With that I asked the girl to go back to her seat and switched on the projector again. 

M: (Showing them a triangle just like Figure 1) Class what is this?

C: Triangle

M: (Inverting it to Figure 2) And class, what's this?

C: Triangle! (Woo hoo… I TAUGHT THEM!)

The lesson continued and everyone was happy.

I am sure most times adults do their best to protect and teach the young ones. But if no one shares what they learnt or what to do differently, our ways will be just our limited knowledge on figuring what is best… It could be a similar experience that you have experienced form a test paper, or just a normal session chatting with your kids…anything! Point is.. Why reinvent the wheel? 

If you have anything that had inspire you through your teaching with your kids… please share… If you are willing to share, you can always email me at mngern@gmail.com, and with your permission I will post it for others to read… 

I'm not sure if anyone would respond to this… (Ha!) but if you could… let's be each other's eyes and support for our kids. :) 

A journey of 9 years as a Mrs...

The much talked about pi-day came and gone. How was that special for you? It didn't make much difference except the fact that 9 years ago, D and I legally became husband and wife. I'm sure it would be more romantic if D actually remembered that it was today and not 16.3.2006.

While strolling in the park..

M: You know what day it is today?

D: (He looked at me…) It's not today. It's 16/3 (I have to say, it feels good being with someone who knows what you are thinking.)

M: What's on 16/3?

D: Our ROM lah. You very horrible very dates.

M: My dear, we registered on the 14?

D: Please… my memory better than you… wanna bet?

M: You must be getting old, it is 14.

D: I'm very confident.

(I laughed. Boy I love it when I get to prove him wrong… I took my phone and looked through my archive mail… Finally, I found the email that had the booking for the restaurant for 14/3/2006. The taste of victory never got sweeter…)

M: Your memory still good?

(D looked through the email…)

D: Yes… see.. it's on 16.3. I'm right. (whatever… I knew i got him… like WHY would you doubt a woman on her wedding date? It's not like asking her when Singapore was forced to surrender… Ok in case you didn't know it's 15/2/1942)

Oh and why I chose 14/3? I don't know if you guys remember the pager phase, when 143 actually means I love you? :)

After the stroll, we met some friends for dinner… and they were all surprised that he was able to sit there and enjoy himself. 

But yes… while the Mr got the date mixed up, I know that he loves me… and that's more important. So  today, i took some time to slowly go through the emails we used to send to each other when we were dating. (If you have the time and chance to do so, read those mails again… You will be laughing at times, tearing at some but smiling all the time) I was actually quite romantic when I was 21… Ha.. okay maybe more to cheesy and really quite high maintenance. I read some of the emails and even I couldn't carry on… (What the hell was I thinking????) And D had to put up with it and even replied them… (I told you he loves me…)

One of the emails that caught my attention was an email that I wrote to him attaching a letter to my future husband. Since I hope you will be able to last through this whole blog entry, I will just copy and paste a small portion of what is interesting in the letter…

One day, my looks will fade, my busts will sag, my body will go fat but i hope you will always see me as ur beautiful princess just like how when my hearing and vision fail... i will take extra effort to listen to you and close my eyes to your weaknesses... and love me darling... not because of my hair length or whatsoever... but when compared to another girl.. your eyes will still be attracted to me.. regardless how interesting the other person's teeth may be, how smooth and soft her hair may be, how witty and loud she makes you laugh, how great her figure is complimented with her cup C or D busts... just like how i know u are the one for me.. over john, joseph, bryan, lester, adrian.. blah blah.. i might take a little longer time to digest the differences... but i am sure at the end of the day.. if u wait for a while longer, my answer would be you still and i dun want anyone else…

(Okay I really don't know who the guys are… but that's not really the point in that really… ) 

This was written when I was about 21 (Gawd… I was so young…) and it's amazing how we managed to stick by each other through it all… See when I was younger, I was more insecure, possessive, very easily jealous… In short, I was just young and irritating.. :)

That made me reflect on this bible verse… and appreciate it more…

Love is always patient and kind; love is never jealous; love is not boastful or conceited

It is never rude and never seeks its own advantage, it does not take offense or store up grievances 

I remembered for one of the wedding masses I attended, a priest actually asked, ever since when love makes one patient, kind, not jealous, not boastful or conceited? Which lover will not be rude (I suppose when angry) and not love for self's advantage? How does one not take offense or be okay when things go bad?

Probably when we love based on the mere ability of human.

It's not love per se, but with God, that loving becomes 'unnatural'. Of course, you may be a person with no faith and still be in a wonderful relationship. But all I am saying is that because I have faith, loving becomes easier to understand and show. Loving D was not based on how I wanted to love, but how he needed to be love. :) 

So on pi-day, I'm thankful that God has given me a glimpse of what His love to me can me… Through D. Thank you D… for showing me what heaven is like… even for someone as undeserving as me. :)

P.S. Why isn't Pi-day on 22/7????