Modeling the Model Diagram

I remember when I was learning to be a teacher, the math professor gave the class of trainee teachers a Primary 4/5 question. She wanted us to solve the question with model drawing. There were about twenty of us, with different backgrounds and age groups. The time given was 15 min. None of us managed to solve it. NONE. Mind you, all of us were university graduates. 

It's been almost 10 years since then and since then, I always believed that it does help kids with their Math. Unfortunately, most people I speak to, don't agree with me. There was a mother whom I met at a school's event recently who actually dissuaded her girl from drawing the model as she thought it was a waste of time. 

Audrey is P3 this year, and it's also this year that her teacher is requiring the class to do their models in the Math sums. I naively thought P3 Math means simple math questions = simple intro to model diagrams = a piece of cake. 

I was wrong. I should have known that the hardest thing to teach are always the basics. Audrey came home with a math worksheet one day, which required her to do her model diagram and solve the questions. It was already painful to see her come up with a diagram because she was quite particular about being neat and later erase all away because she didn't get it. After 30 minutes, she was still at the first (unsolved) question. I tried to do it slow with her, but she was not getting it. After a while, I gave up and basically did her homework with her. (I 'taught' and she wrote) Because we again had an unpleasant learning experience together, I felt lousy and was up the whole night thinking of what I could do to change things. 

We went back to basics  of the model diagram after school one day. So far it has worked for me. And in case you are one of those who were born too early for the model diagram method, see if this works for you. 

1) I did away with the drawing of the diagram

I used strips of construction papers (4 colors would be safe since so far, I haven't used more than 3 colors) of standard varying lengths. I halved a strip for the pink and further halved the lengths for the orange and blue respectively. Whilst the green I divided the paper into threes.

I did this for many reasons. Firstly, it was less time consuming for Audrey to present her model and secondly I'm not sure if it was just her, but she couldn't see at times that certain parts need to be the same (because it represents the same amount) and certain parts need to be longer proportionately to represent a greater amount.

2) She only shows me the diagram

This doesn't mean she doesn't solve the question, but my focus was really the diagram and not her working. The diagram is essentially a working and while she doesn't need to do her working, I still ask her what her steps are.

I got her to do on her white board from school since I really didn't want to keep wasting paper and I thought it was easier to erase any mistakes with the duster than the eraser.

3) Step-by-step intro to model diagram

With all my materials prepared, I had a step-by-step demo. I showed her an example, guided her on the next and let her do the second. She fumbles sometimes, but with practice she does get it.

In short, this is how you show it:

a) Translate line by line of the question to the diagram. (It helps to break down the question. If sometimes the first line does not help much, you can use the second line to help) 

b) Labeling  (It helps to understand the premise of the question)

c) "Layering": When comparing the strips, all similarities must be found in the model (it helps the child to relate to the question)

The above shows an example of how "layering" works. Comparing the first and third strips with the second, the difference is shown by the green and orange strips respectively. However, since the green is longer than the orange strip, it would also mean that the green strip consist of the orange portion inside it. Visually, it helps the child to see which has the most and by how much. 

d) Finally, indicate the question with a question mark (It helps to understand what we are finding out)

Here's an example:

There were 15 more pupils in Class 3A than in Class 3B. 20 pupils from Class 3B moved to Class 3A. How many more pupils were there in Class 3A than Class 3B in the end?

Starting from top left to right.

I always tell Audrey to approach the question line by line since most of the questions are pretty straight-forward. (There are some questions which you do not work on the first line, but because it won't be 'basics' I won't be talking about it here. If you do want to know how to do it, let me know, and I can always share it)

As you can see, she used the green strip to represent 20 pupils from Class 3B in the second picture and immediately did the "layering" step of placing it in the first strip as well. She then "moves" the 20 students to the first strip by adding another green strip to it, while indicating using a dotted line that the students have moved to the first class. (I would tell her to cover the bottom green strip so that she would remember that the 20 students are no more in that class, allowing her to see the 'excess' students  in 3A as compared to 3B)

Obviously, it's not possible to use the strips in a pencil and paper exam mode. Only after she is comfortable moving the colored strips, I would let her attempt drawing it out. 

Yes I know, the question mark for the diagram is missing :P

And I am proud to say, she is slowly becoming a little expert in model drawing. :P

I know it's a little wordy today… Nonetheless, I hope it has helped you to help your child a little. :) Let me know if it did!!!

The Eureka Moment of teaching the Concept of "How Many More/Fewer"

And so, today's entry revisits my 'love-hate' relationship with P1 Math.

For the past month, I have been revising Math with Isaac and I found that one of the concepts that he seems to be struggling with is this concept of "How many more/fewer?"

A typical question would look like that:

Taken from one past year paper

Isaac's answer would be 2. In case you are wondering, the correct answer is 3. 

Well, if your child is gifted, your child is gifted. And this is of little or no use to you.

If your child is like mine, then you may want to read on. 

You see, throughout the last month, Isaac has been having problems getting it right. Actually, I looked back when Audrey was in P1 and she too had the same problem. It may well be a usual developmental 'kink' that most kids need to overcome, but that would not bring any form of consolation when the parent teaches this to the kid.

We sat through many other practices and he will not be able to get these type of questions right.

Trust me, I actually been through 3 different methods.

Method 1: Crossing the items from each group and asking to count what was not crossed out. 

Result: He crossed them out (though I think he didn't understand why he needed to) and still didn't help. In fact the next time when he saw a similar question, he didn't cross anything out.

Method 2 (similar to the first): Matching and partnering each object from the two groups to form an unit. 

Result: Same as the above.

Method 3: Just subtract one from the other. (Obviously, I'm getting desperate and wanted him to just get the answer) 

Result: He was not able to carry it out when he saw such a question again.

As an adult, you may not have any problems getting this. But a seven year old may. If most 7 year olds go through this like what Kathy Richardson's "How Children Learn Number Concepts" is saying, that what children is understanding from this type of question is how much is the number that has fewer, rather than how many fewer.

On a side note, I have to say that Isaac has no problem with simple subtraction. So 5-2 is manageable for him.

Now, based on Kathy Richardson, such a question could really be because of language rather than concept. 

So this is what I did. I took 5 sweets in one group and put 3 in the other. 

Step 1: Check whether the child even knows which has more. (Isaac knew… phew)

Step 2: Ask the child how many more sweets must you put in the other group to make both the same. (EUREKA… ok at least for Isaac)

Now of course if the group asks for fewer, then you may have to change the questioning a little. So…

Step 1: Check whether the child knows which has less.

Step 2: Ask the child how many sweets you must remove from the other group to make both the same.

Try it for a few more examples. But try not to give one example which has the same answer as the number of items in the group. 

So for example, Group A has 8 girls. Group B has 4 boys. How many fewer boys are there? The problem with this is you really cannot catch whether they got the concept or they were just giving you the number in the group that has the fewer items.

With that, now I explained that Math had a special language and in order to find those answers, the lingo in Math would be to ask "How many more/fewer?" (Which obviously was BS, but it doesn't matter) 

And it really doesn't because Isaac now was able to use that knowledge and answer these type of questions correctly. I found some other practice worksheets online and printed out to let him try… and he had NO problem. In fact, he was very confident and he managed to solve all within minutes.  

You can't believe how wide my smile was when I saw his answers. (To be fair, I'm not sure if I was prouder of him or myself :P) But HE was also beaming with pride. 

Regardless, let me know if you have tried this and your child had his Eureka moment too. Or better still, if you have any ways or methods you have tried and it worked, I would be really happy to learn from you! :) Otherwise, onward to P1 Math!

Perfect Parenting isn't being Perfect

Over the weekend, I did a crash course with Audrey on Science to prepare her for her class test for Monday. (If you'd ever sat down and revised with your kid and they survived, give yourself one pat on your back. If you survived, give yourself two!)

Truth be told, these are the moments when I am not particularly proud of myself. Sure, we got the topics covered (well sort of) and we finished our test papers and assessment books, but through it all, there were moments of frustration and impatience on my part. And for these, I felt like a lousy parent. It's a constant struggle, to be kind with the method of teaching and to be pushing the child to reach her full potential.

Maybe she already is at her full potential, and I was just trying to push her to reach "perfection".

I was reminded on Sunday that in our world, perfection was never without being compassionate and merciful. In short, it is never forgiving. And that was me during that weekend.
I tried many ways to stop that. I even tried eating a snack so that my mouth would get too distracted from scolding, but I still caved. Pushing for that perfect score seemed to be more important at times. I get more stressed when I find she actually has not mastered what was taught in school.

I'm as unkind to her as much as the world is towards parents, or in this case, mothers.
Psychology studies, people with no children and your parents even, will simply focus on what they think is lacking on your parenting skills. In fact, it almost seems that anybody but the parent will make a better parent.
Social media doesn't help. If you want to be more unsure of your parenting, check out your own Facebook feed. It's normal for people to post something they are proud of and I'm not saying it's not right. I'm saying those moments that people generally post, don't happen all the time. Sometimes, it's not  even real.

That glimpse of "perfection" I post online of my kids and all is just that 'right' second when it was captured. It doesn't show the struggles to capture it.

Not everything is
picture perfect

For example, I normally post many family wefies. What it shows is that we are all having fun and everyone is cooperative and basically everything is ok. There was one shot I had captured a few minutes before the one we settled for had Julian crying. He was disciplined because he could not get his way earlier and was throwing a tantrum.
Did I post the crying picture? Of course not.

There are times when I shared with my friends that at least once a month, we try to go to the hawker centre to let the children experience some local fare, understand how the same dish could cost different in different places and even get them to order and carry their food to the table. Sounds like a brilliant idea to bringing up less entitled kids? Maybe. Some friends would commend us for letting the kids do that. (Okay… I have to admit… that makes me feel good) But what I never shared with was the initial sulking from the kids, the constant exchange of duties between D and I to feed the kids or to carry Kyra. I'm not sure if we actually had a "family" meal, even though we were all at the table actually… But yes, it's not perfect.

And even when this ex school teacher sits and studies with her kids for their exams, they don't get top grades, or end up in the best class or get bursary or scholarship awards.
Or when I see friends who have no helpers, yet so independently manage their households with so much orderliness and pride while comparing to the everyday struggles I have managing mine with extra help, that sucks.

What about the 1001 studies and comments about how it's terrible to expose the kids to the iPad and TV? Trust me, I'd probably be the first parent to be hung because of that.
My kids have injured themselves under my watch, they have defied me before, they have been terrified when I disciplined them before, they have argued and fought before in front of me, they have had moments when they are scared and I wasn't there, they have even been lost before. Many people would have many reasons to condemn me as a mummy because I basically have failed many times.

D once commented that the hardest thing about being a parent is that you can't be the child. I forget that my kids do not need a prefect mum to achieve their perfect grades, but they do need a supportive mum who is interested in their lives. Everyday I remind myself that the teachers in school are capable of pointing out their mistakes. I am still learning to just sit beside them, egg them on to complete their work and if it's wrong, ask them to check it again and let it go if she thinks if it's right. She will learn the right answer and how to deal with it when she gets her assignment back.

Sunday's gospel from Matthew 5:48 on to "be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect" reminded me not to be God, but to be with Him and to let Him be with me.
I'm not perfect and I don't need to be perfect. I just need to try my best.
They will be fine. I will be too.

Image saved from dumpaday.com

In my time, Mummy

Kids grow up so fast they say. (It doesn't feel that way when they misbehave or they wake you up in the middle of the night.. somehow you wish they grow up faster) But when all is calm and when you start to think back through the years, somehow, they are right. 

Isaac's graduation class photo

Even though Isaac is only six… but within that time, he's gone from crawling to running, babbling to reading and just last week, he's graduated from his kindergarten. (Yay to cheaper school fees but OMG to he's going Primary School???) 

I remembered just March last year, I actually broke down halfway through dinner with D as I felt Isaac was struggling with his learning. (In case you missed the posting, you can read it again here: http://chellelifestory.blogspot.sg/2015/03/when-tiger-mum-learns-to-just-be-mum.html) 

I was worried that he will not be able to cope in school, that he might be left behind and that he won't be able to succeed in future. (Though at that time I didn't have a benchmark or an idea as to what success would mean for a kid…) BUT because he could not remember  what was taught 5 seconds ago, or he could not recognize his alphabets then, I freaked out. It didn't help in my paranoia that at that time other kids around his age were doing much better and some friends suggested that he might need medical intervention. 

I remembered feeling helpless and just breaking down in front of D thinking that just because Isaac might not succeed, I had failed. (Mothers can be so hard on themselves)

I mean, besides smiling and charming people around him, he couldn't read and didn't talk much, besides knowing how many robots there are in transformers, he  didn't have any number sense and could not do simple addition. In short, even as a mother, I saw what he couldn't do more than celebrated what he could do. 

And while people with good intentions will tell you that exams are overrated and there's more to life than school exams, no one would be able to feel the anxiety more than the parents. (Because hello, most professionals come from the same few leading schools) At some point, I got frustrated with myself. On one hand, I really wanted them to enjoy their childhood, but on the other hand, I can't help but compare with their peers on where they stand. I found I was struggling because I didn't know what I actually valued in parenting. 

At least in Singapore, the hallmarks of the child's life are punctuated with the different exam points in their school life. The highlight for a 10 year old is the streaming exams, for a 12 year old the PSLE, the 14 year old the selection process of subjects for O levels, the 16 year old the O levels, the 18 year old the A levels etc. And so, for parents somehow, we use this benchmark to decide how we have also fared in parenthood. If the kids achieve good results, it would indirectly translate that we have done well in our parenting styles, at least in the eyes of many others.

But I personally have never been really successful in the education system. I mean, sure I didn't fall through the cracks of the system, but I didn't achieve top scores. Not many people know this but I actually got D7 for my GP in my AO levels. SO yes… I didn't have a full A levels certificate and if you did get it, you are already one up above me.

Image from auto.howstuffworks.com

But only when we take a step back, we also know that exams results don't guarantee health, happiness and love. I remembered a few months ago, Isaac read out a bible passage on the screen and I was pleasantly surprised. Even if the words weren't difficult, I cheered because he could read. There were times when he surprised me too with his logic. Like recently, while D was driving, he asked D if he could drive faster. "How much faster?" D asked. Isaac took a look at the speedometer and said "220km/hr." D laughed and explained that's not possible. "Of course it's possible papa, if not why would they put it there?" Isaac innocently asked. 

Moments when he looked out for his younger siblings or when he so willingly give up his things for them warms my heart more than what he got for his spelling tests.

I asked D what he thought success was and he told me that the moment when he can do something without worrying what other people thought of him would be the time when he is successful. (Wherever does he get his wisdom from???) I agree.

I still find myself struggling and on that account, Isaac has done way better than me. Of course he loves to be praised and complimented, but even if it looks silly, he is far more courageous to try it than me, or my 'smarter' kids.

Such things may not be recognized in a school test, but he will be fine in life. And I should learn to be too. 

When Chocolates Become a Lesson on Money

We got an email from Audrey's school yesterday telling us that her form teacher would be leaving and another teacher would be taking over the class.

On the way out for dinner, we discussed with Audrey how it would be nice to give her teacher a small present to wish her all the best in her future endeavors. Audrey agreed and thought she should get chocolates.

And who doesn't like Lindt? 

After dinner, we went to the chocolate section in the supermarket and she zoomed in to something that she thought was nice and would make a great gift. (See the picture on the right)

We agreed that it was and told her that since it was her teacher, we would be loaning her the amount and she could repay us everyday from her pocket money. Audrey was stunned. She immediately went back to check the price of the chocolates and put it back on the shelf. 

She then went through the whole chocolate section only this time she looked not just at the packaging but at the price as well. D and I smiled at each other. He of course quipped that at least she didn't pick up the $1.20 ones… but truth be told she saw a kit-kat at $0.70 and wanted to get it for the teacher which I of course told her she could get it only if she appreciates her teacher that much.. Fortunately, she put that back as well.

So here's the second choice. 

It's not too bad, but we told her, the price should not be the only factor when deciding on a gift. We got her to imagine herself as a recipient and to choose something that she actually enjoys and she would like the other person to enjoy that too. (To be fair, Audrey hasn't really eaten Dairy Milk chocolates before… I'm not sure why…) 

She put the chocolates back and went on looking for something she was okay with the price and something she knows she would like. (All this happen of course with the two younger boys running around the supermarket going crazy and asking us if their sister could buy them chocolates… *rolls eyes*)

Finally, she decided on something she liked and even gave some thought as to why she thought her teacher might like it.

Not too bad right????

There were three flavors - Cookies and cream, Milk chocolate with almonds and Milk chocolate. We asked her which we should get for her teacher, and she chose the plain milk chocolate since there is "more chocolate and who doesn't like more chocolate". 

In case you thought that this decision process is completed, it hasn't. She said she needed a card to give as well. We gave her two choices. One was to buy a card from the bookshop which would be another $4 or so or she could go home and make a nice one for the teacher. Without thinking, she said she will go back and make it. (D and I laughed at her decision)

On the way home, we discussed with how much would she be paying D everyday for the loan. Her pocket money is $2/day, of which $0.20 is put in her savings and another $0.20 is set aside for church offerings on Sundays, so which means she is left with $1.60. We worked on $0.40, $0.80 and $1.00. But D was a little concern if we got her to return $1/day she would not have enough to spend in school.  So we told her not to push it and choose something she was okay to part with. (Of course the boys overheard and told her to pay mummy and not daddy… HAHAHA. I am also not sure why?!?)

After doing her card and packing her bag, she agreed that she would pay $0.40 a day and worked out a repayment schedule with me. 

So every morning, when daddy fetches her to school, she will give him $0.40 and it was her responsibility to give it and not to be asked, which she agreed.

That night, we knew she must have felt the pinch when she actually had to pay for something from her own pocket and we reminded her that before she so decides to ask her grandparents for something she fancies in future to think if it was really necessary. 

After the kids had gone to bed at night, I began to reflect if I had actually taught my kids on the concept of money. Both D and I have never really involved them in our financial decisions to be honest. Something simple like when we host a dinner or even plan a holiday, the kids do not sit with us to discuss why we had paid a certain amount on our choices. Yet, these decisions, as simple and natural as we think, are never common to kids, which just means those decisions that were 5 seconds long in the past may become 5 minutes in future… but if that would make them more aware about money, that's a good investment isn't it? :)

If I stop being that competitive mother…

Audrey just finished term 2 and we met the teachers… In general, Audrey has been progressing well in class, in short she's not teacher's pet but the teachers don't worry or have complains of her. Audrey did an average of 80+ for all her subjects..

But here's the confession.. she actually did slightly below average amongst her peers… And one of her friends, whose mother and I are good friends, did WAYYYY better than her...
Knowing that didn't make me feel good. Don't get me wrong, I didn't set her out to compete with every and any p1 girl. Ironically, if she comes home telling me that she's always trying to be better than her friends, I would be quite concerned and tell her to just focus on her own race with herself. So why am I uncomfortable?

The truth of the matter is, I am competitive (Okay.. I'm not that crazy to compete on whether my kids' poo smell nicer than others). It's like how my kids perform in school was an indication of whether I was a good parent or not. So to put it bluntly, it was really just my pride/ego being hurt. (Or in asian context, loss of face)

I took this week to actually revise with Audrey all the weak areas in math. I'm not sure if it's universal, but if your child is in p1, chances are she/he will have quite a bit of difficulty doing questions like these:
John has 5 apples. Mary has 4 more apples than John. How many apples do they have in all?

Somehow, Audrey sees "in all" and she just adds the two numbers. She sees it as a one step question since prior to this, she's been just doing one-step questions. If you are having problems with this type of question w your child, maybe you can try rewording the question to this… as a start to introducing to them that such questions are 2 step questions..

John has 5 apples. Mary has 4 more apples than John.
A) how many apples does Mary have?
B) how many apples do they have in all?

We tried solving the question with manipulative and it did seem to work for a while, but somehow without it, Audrey still hasn't managed to get the concept.

Egg carton with colored ping pong balls….

She managed to answer the questions correctly when she used the manipulative

But come the next day, when I tried again (without the manipulative), she got it wrong again. It went on for 2 days… it wasn't working. My patience was getting shorter. I couldn't understand why she couldn't understand it. It was painful for both her and me.

Fortunately, in comes the mister. He broke the question down for her… and in his own way (because he wasn't competing with anyone but focusing on her) he managed to get her to see it within 30 minutes (Darns! I lost to the mister too!) 

The mister got her to break the question down step by step… To be fair, I did it too…
But he made her write it out… I didn't

I suppose D and I knew it was a two step problem. Here's when NS did some good. Even if he knows she is smart, he is treating her as a fool. I know she is smart and I thought I could be lazy with the minor details like getting her to write it out step by step.

And because he managed to do it right…. He got A+ for review.

Seeing that she now is able to do the questions, made me feel proud of her but ashamed of myself. I was too eager to make her get a concept that I got impatient waiting for that "A-ha" moment. I wanted to achieve something (through her) and she wasn't enjoying the process… neither did i (trust me).

Truth be told, now upon reflection, I don't know why I was even competitive or who was I competing with. It's a thin line that I wanted the best for her, yet I was actually trying to mould her to make me look good. So my question to parents is… when you decide to send your child to enrichment classes… was it really for the kids' benefit… or yours? Think about it… 

A little treat for the little lady...

Of course every entry normally has a "happy" ending… I recognize that Audrey is a sweetheart who persevered and sat through another hour with me clearing her math concepts… and I brought her out for a surprise - Her favorite foot massage. (Guess a little bribery won't hurt.. :P)

What's my point? My point is this… I didn't achieve anything by being competitive. I didn't get any result by being over anxious or over zealous, in fact it went the other way. She's a child and I should go at her pace rather than she follow mine.

Trust me, it's easy to say (when your kids are younger or doing well) that you won't be such a parent… But… chances are 8 out of 10 of you will be… :) I hope after reading this… you will be the 2 though. 

P1 Math… The downfall of a P1 Parent...

I am not a Math Professor, neither do I have a degree in Math. It may seem that I have a bone to pick with the math syllabus, but I don't. I just don't understand why certain methods make sense to the publisher, and certain methods don't make sense to the teacher?

So, here's one of the questions found in the P1 Math Workbook Part 2. Now in case you are wondering why these questions were solved with an addition sign, it was printed with it so the children had no choice but to solve it with the addition sign. 

(I'm sure it was so confusing that even the teacher marked the corrections wrongly for question 1)

There's just some things I cannot understand..

1) What is the purpose of the picture of 8 pears and a paper bag again?? (how does the bag even help me to solve the question???)

2) How would a teacher assess if a kid gives such a working? Should the 1 mark for working (which may not make sense to me) be given the mark or be marked 0? 

3) How does it make sense to solve it using an addition sign? Assuming if the question does not have pictures (relevant or otherwise), a kid would now need to think through a process like this:

Step 1:

8 (original) + ___ (bought) = 14 (now)

Step 2:

14 - 8 = ? 

Then wouldn't it be better to just teach step 2 direct? 

4) The intention of/for such questions. Are we encouraging a (forced) creativity in solving questions here? 

To be honest, I am not at all comfortable with this assignment. Can someone honestly tell me if the solution makes sense? Something maybe I have overlooked? 

I asked D to see if he could understand this… and even he couldn't explain it… (He's a man of few words… but this left him speechless)

But at this point, I'm just a frustrated parent. 

When the "Tiger Mum" Learns to just be a Mum...

This week has been declared as the mourning period for LKY's death. Throughout the week, videos have provided insights  to what his family is like. (I've learnt many things watching the videos like what's "aplomb" and "jaunty" which I bet not many know either.) One of the things I am very amazed at is how his parents as well as he and his wife were able to somehow groom each child into a maverick. (How come they never write a book on that as well????)

If you have been reading my blog, you will realize that Audrey is quite an independent learner. No doubt, her academic is not my major concern as she gets her concepts fast and I find that my role when teaching her is to make sure she doesn't become complacent or arrogant. I can be harsh with her when needed and push her when she is taking things too easy. In short, she's an "angel" baby when it comes to studies.

He finally got "Ge" right after reading it
as "Yi Ren" for so many times

Isaac is her exact opposite. Don't get me wrong, it's not because he has bad attitude. (In fact, he doesn't understand why people even need to study.) Yet, when you asks him to sit beside you during revision time, he does so happily and with so much enthusiasm.
Unfortunately, Isaac is what society deems as a slow learner.

Yesterday, Audrey had netball in school and I took some time to go through his work with him. There's no denying that Isaac has been lagging severely in his studies. If there were 4 points in the instructions, he probably remembers the last and maybe the first, but he will not be able to digest everything. I can go through a new word with him 5 times, and when we revisit it 5 minutes later, he won't be able to remember what the word is. (Guess we need to revise it 10 times now…)

After sitting with him for just 40 min to do 6 pages, I decided I needed a break. I realized that if I

Two of the pages we attempted
yesterday...

continued, I may actually start to raise my voice and get impatient. I applaud him for his perseverance and told him that he was free to play his toys.

That night, the Mr and I had our own dinner. Because of what happened in the afternoon, halfway through our dinner, I broke down and cried. (The Mr obviously got uncomfortable this time… imagine you are in a restaurant, and you see a woman crying while having dinner with a partner… you will be thinking.. Confirm quarrel)

D asked what happened. I said that I felt bad because I didn't know how to help Isaac. What's worse, I fear that Isaac wouldn't be able to cope in such a system as ours. I shared that how for the next few years when he gets formal education, he's just going to fall through the cracks and suffer.. (Okay, i'm exaggerating a little here…)

D smiled, and asked me when I see Isaac, what do I see.
Amongst the three, he is my most well-behaved child. He is the kindest and gentlest. Surprisingly, while he's not the oldest, he always looks out for his siblings. Like when he and julian wake up from their nap, he will take on the responsibility of changing Julian (and him) out of pampers and help him with his underwear and shorts, before switching off the fan/air-con and bringing him down. (No one told him to do so…)
He is the most giving. Sometimes, we leave our stuff upstairs in our room, and when we asked him to help us to bring it down, even if he was in the middle of something, he has no hesitation doing it for us. (Though he will ask sheepishly why are we so lazy)
He's also the most charming amongst the three. I remember we were in a birthday party when two girls were fighting to play with him. One even cried when the other girl managed to hold his arm. (That was awkward… to see your son being so "hot")

But yes, that is Isaac - the happy-go-lucky, innocent, child-like kid.
If not by me, if not once, academics can always be taught. But these virtues… it's a gift. How do you teach a 5 year old to be charming, to be giving and to be kind?
The toughest part was to accept that the world/system might be unkind to him… of course, I could be the system and force him to adapt in it… but he won't be happy and what good will come out of it?
On the other hand, I could just congratulate for remembering that word we tried to learn for the past 30 min.. and know that he is happy, secure and enjoy life.

He's my child. And I his mother.  And while it is tough for me to not be sucked into the system, my promise to him is that he matters more to me than that. I have to remember that he is here to live God's plan, not mine.
Will he be successful? I don't know. Will he be loved? I am sure. :)

When a Picture says More than a Thousand words

The school term has started and so has my revision time with the kids.
Looking at last term's work, I wanted to do addition word problems with Audrey.
This week, instead of eggs, let me introduce our new character - Gingerbread Men!

This seems easy right? Ha! If only...

This (thank God) is not a question from Audrey's test, it's one of the questions we went through today.
To be fair, this is not a difficult question. I am sure suspect when teachers teach such questions, they would basically highlight the words "at first"and explain to them that it means finding out the number of items at the beginning. To do so, it would mean to add what is left and and is missing.

But here's what my dear girl did…

I'm not sure if you can see, but she struck 2 gingerbread men from the picture, and wrote as 6-2=4. (I don't even know to mark right or wrong)
After the egg incident, I have learnt it is more important (especially for kids) to understand rather than to be understood.
I asked her what made her do this way and here's her explanation:

There were 6 gingerbread men (Like why did they even draw that out?)
4 gingerbread were left.
So… She thought her working was supposed to be 6 - 2 = 4.
(I checked with D and he gave the same explanation as to why she could have done this way. Brilliant! My daughter is going to be a dentist too!)
I thanked her for teaching me something new and told her to take a break, since we would be continuing after dinner.

I tried to ask some friends whose kids are in Primary 1 to let their child try the above question. Basically I wanted to understand if their kids got it right or wrong, and if they did was it because they read the question or looked at the picture.

So one of my girlfriends got her daughter to try and she got it right. I asked did she solve it by reading the question or looking at the picture. She told me the former. She didn't even bother with the pictures.
Another two did the same thing as my girl… (okay now we got 2 more dentists!)

My concern, at this point, wasn't Audrey's train of thought. I was worried. Worried that she would not be able to proceed on questions when it didn't have any pictures (misleading or otherwise) and more importantly, that she will not be able to fit into what the system wants of her.

After dinner, I got her to redo the question again, this time, I covered the picture. I asked her to solve the question for me.

Just to showcase her artistic talent...

So I covered the pictures and she got the right answer. (did you know how loud my sigh of relief was????) I know why schools needed to provide pictures for word problems - for the consideration of other students who can't read.
However, through this one incident, I am not sure if the use of the pictures here has made matters worse. Or rather, the use of pictures has indirectly led to a failure of showing her concept understanding here.

SO if the kids generally didn't get it right because of the picture and if they get it wrong because of the picture… I'm trying to understand… does it mean:

1) Word problems should henceforth not have pictures?
2) If the child can't read, they shouldn't be given word problems?

It's sad that a good intention (picture in this case) didn't produce a good result.
Honestly, if I didn't have this incident with Audrey, I won't have known better as well. (Because I read the question instead of looking at the picture)
And if i were in the school management team, I won't have known that kids may be confused by the pictures and/or whether pictures should be drawn for word problems.
But instead of being critical of what has been done, I hope this post entry would create an opportunity to discuss on what could be done… after all, at some point, chances are your child will be going through the same education as mine.
So I'm posing to you readers, IF you were the setter, what can you do differently?

I do hope you share your thoughts on this… if not, I hope, this will help you further understand how a normal 7 year old think. :)


added note: my friend told me that it's probably easier to let audrey learn how to give answers people want.. Maybe.. but I would also hope that from this post, people would also learn to accept what answers my child (and many other children give) because of the little things we as adults overlook. Will it change overnight, no. But will that make a difference to what you do with a child like this? Maybe… :)

When a triangle becomes a diamond/square...

It's been about 1 week since I started blogging… Throughout the week, I have friends and strangers dropping me a note telling me that whilst they don't normally read blogs, they do find what I write interesting and at (most) times inspiring… (I'm sure that's largely because they never expected me to be that 'wise'.. ) It was quite humbling to know that even one of my teachers back in school was actually reading my blog (Aww… you know who you are.. and with that, thank you for your quiet support )

Somehow my experiences, as mundane and simple, were something they could relate to and at times made them re-evaluate their choices in life. (Awww…) It does seem my struggles as essentially a wife and mother are not mine alone. The only thing that was different was I talked about it and added in how I grew from it. Of course, while many may not have down the same as I have, I hope it had at least provided you a glimpse as to what could have happen if you so did the same as me. (After all, we don't need to touch fire to know it burns)

And somehow, of all the entries I wrote, nothing beats the one on Audrey's test. Till date, that alone has received 16200 views (and it is increasing as I type…) That post went 'viral'. It struck a chord with parents, educators and even students. People from Australia, America, UK, Indonesia and even South Korea could identify with it. With that I also have received some comments that if I had been too harsh on Audrey. Maybe I did, but the key take away was not that I was harsh. It was I failed to celebrate her small successes and hopefully I had subsequently inspire her to do better in her next test. I admitted that I failed my test as a mum, but I was not shy to admit it and I shared what I would do differently next.

But I do wish that mothers and teachers could share with me how they have been proven otherwise before by their students. That the child had seen or done something before because it was something that as adults we have overlooked on our part.

I share another example with you…
When I was a trainee teacher, my professor always told us to be mindful how we draw our triangles.

Most times when we introduce a triangle to young kids especially, we tend to draw our triangles as should in Figure 1. I did a symmetry class with a P3 (9 year olds) then and I too did show them over the projector a triangle like that. 

Me: Class, do you know what shape is this?

Class: Triangle.

M: Very good. (I slowly inverted the triangle until the tip was at the base in front of them) Now class, what is this shape?

C: Square (said some) NO! diamond! (said others… essentially i have every shape but triangle)

M: Ok. Calm down. (I inverted the triangle back to Figure 1 again) Let's try again. What shape is this?

C: (in unison) Triangle.

M: (I tried inverting to Figure 2 again with them witnessing it) And this?

(Again the class responded with anything but triangle… and no i can't continue teaching symmetry if they can't get this right)

How is that possible?? With that I switched off the projector, and I called a girl up.

M: Class, what's her name?

C: Ying Xi

M: Okay. (I asked YX to sit) Class, who is she?

C: Ying Xi

M: Very good. (Now i asked YX to turn around with her back facing them) Class who is she? 

C: Ying Xi (The class was starting to giggle… obviously, they are either getting it or they thought I was dumb)

M: (Now i got YX to bend over) Class who is she?

C: YING XI! (okay… they finally got what I wanted to say)

With that I asked the girl to go back to her seat and switched on the projector again. 

M: (Showing them a triangle just like Figure 1) Class what is this?

C: Triangle

M: (Inverting it to Figure 2) And class, what's this?

C: Triangle! (Woo hoo… I TAUGHT THEM!)

The lesson continued and everyone was happy.

I am sure most times adults do their best to protect and teach the young ones. But if no one shares what they learnt or what to do differently, our ways will be just our limited knowledge on figuring what is best… It could be a similar experience that you have experienced form a test paper, or just a normal session chatting with your kids…anything! Point is.. Why reinvent the wheel? 

If you have anything that had inspire you through your teaching with your kids… please share… If you are willing to share, you can always email me at mngern@gmail.com, and with your permission I will post it for others to read… 

I'm not sure if anyone would respond to this… (Ha!) but if you could… let's be each other's eyes and support for our kids. :) 

When a Math question teaches you humility… Part 3

So… for all you Audrey's supporters… I got this email from her teacher today..

Dear Michelle,

Thanks for your patience.  I have shared the alternative solution provided by Audrey and her answer can be accepted in this case.  I have informed Audrey about it before she was dismissed.

However, as mentioned, it is also important for Audrey to be familiar with the part-whole concept and be able to use both addition and subtraction equations appropriately.

I am glad we also had the opportunity to discuss Audrey's progress.  I hope she gets a good break and enjoy herself during the one-week term break.

Warmest Regards,

Mrs Lee

Through the whole episode, I am very sure she didn't know she was causing quite a sensation on the internet… To her, the Math paper was already history… Her being on time for school and having sushi during recess with her girlfriends are more important than whether the teacher appreciated or accepted her way of counting. (Boy I love her way of thinking…)

Yes, I heard some of you, the education system has its flaws but it's not unreasonable… So have a little bit more patience and faith it will be better. :)

That said, I do hope that through this sharing, it has reminded you to appreciate the little one(s) who are sent along your way… They are truly a blessing (I mean why would I have 4 if i don't think so..tsk tsk..) 

For those who have dropped me a message to tell me how special Audrey is, and how much you appreciated reading the blog…. Thank you… I really appreciated it. :)

Everyone's Favourite Topic - Eggs (An update on Math entry)

So just a few days ago, I blogged on the humbling lesson I'd learnt from my daughter's Math paper. (in case you didn't get to read it.. here's it… http://chellelifestory.blogspot.sg/2015/03/when-math-question-teaches-you-lesson.html)

When I started this blog (a week back), it had only a couple hundreds of views… but because of that entry, it became 6000+ (that post alone garnered 5100 views as of today). In another words it became viral. (Oh no… what have I done…) 

Because I posted it on Facebook, I had friends liking the post, commented on it and 2 (officially) shared it. But from there… somehow, it became 5000+ views from Singapore, 169 views from USA, 147 views from UK… the list goes on. (And as I write, the numbers are still increasing… like… how come people don't sleep one?)
I had friends who also privately messaged me and told me not to stop blogging and how much they enjoyed reading my blog (I was humbled… not as much as by the math question… but nonetheless still humbled) And because of that post, naturally they went on to read the next post on the outing to ECP… which is just a normal post that talked about mundane stuff. (now that was funny) Essentially they wanted to know, what did the school say (coming coming..)

From my Facebook page, I had many teacher friends who think that Audrey should not have been penalized. In fact, like me, they were pretty impressed by how orthodox her logic was… (okay because i didn't think that way… maybe that gene came from the dad) So to those who think the education system is hopeless, we got warriors in it who are trying very hard to prove otherwise. 

There were people who also commented that the answer should be 7. Their reason - whether it's broken or not, it's still an egg. (They are not wrong, but reading that made me want to slap them… only because they are my friends) True that, but we are not in a philosophy class.. so whether the glass is half full or half empty is really not the issue right now. 

There were also some who felt that because this is P1 Term 1's work and obviously, the children has been taught that whenever you see the term "left", the way to solve it is to use the subtraction method, hence if the student did not achieve the answer using that solution, the objective is not met and she should not be getting the score.

And that actually is the school's stand.

The teacher called me yesterday and in short, this is what she said:

1) Firstly, she really didn't see how Audrey got it at first and was quite surprised a child had interpret it this way

2) This was done in class and the students were taught that whenever they see "left", at this point, they should take the whole and take away a part of it.

3) The students are not expected to read word equations now, hence they had to minimize the words used and rely heavily on the diagram.

4) The question (while many argue is poorly set) is actually modified from their workbook (uh oh…. i hope now there won't be 4000+ people flipping through the P1 Math workbook and finding fault with it)

5) As a level they somehow agreed that because Audrey didn't meet their objective of the test, she can't be awarded the mark…

6) Ironically, however, if Audrey had put (4 +3 = 7) down as the working, and gave her answer as 4 she will get the mark instead of the comment Fluke! (Yes, we had to explain to her what Fluke is… okay the teacher explained that she thought it was only by chance that Audrey got it right) Oh in case you are wondering, it's because the child has understood part and whole concept… like a number bond?

Of course the protective parent in me didn't accept their explanation. (Please… I'm a Singaporean still… where can you find a singaporean who doesn't complain??) But I was very calm and told her to discuss with her level head/HOD again… (I didn't say I will resort to the press though… I mean like, does it still work nowadays???? )

And as a parent, these were my reasons:

1) In order to understand what was "left", the child understands it would be the unbroken eggs (And audrey has achieved that)

2) I asked her, if you gave a child $2 as daily allowance, and she spends $0.80 that day. Now if you had asked her, how much money does she have left, and she starts counting the remaining money in her wallet to give you the answer, should she be penalized? (Of course the teacher said no, but she said, in this case, the kids were taught that for such question to use subtraction to find the answer for left… which obviously contradicts point 6 above… that in a bit)

3) I also said if they had strictly wanted her to use subtraction, they could simply worded it as "Using a subtraction equation, find how many eggs are left." Then that would have minimize any chance of misinterpretation

4) If Audrey could come up with an easier and less careless alternative (Well it's definitely easier to add 3+1 than 7-3), why are we faulting her? Besides at national exams teachers are also taught to accept alternative answers and solutions should it make sense, why not now..

5) How come we can accept 4+3=7 (award 1 working mark for that) and give 1 mark for the answer 4? I mean if the child puts 3, and still get 1 mark for working, how is that even understanding the question? It doesn't make any sense at all right?

6) Finally, I told her, considering the above, if the school insists that she is wrong, what values are we telling the child? That because Audrey doesn't conform to the norm, she should not be rewarded? Or because she didn't meet the KPIs of the test, she is wrong? (how would a 6 year old know so much?) In short, I told her that it is not about the marks, but what message we are telling the child by marking it wrong.

See I may be a strict parent with high expectations, but I am a very protective one as well, especially when it comes to her development. If I did my part as a parent, I won't allow anyone to create a mess out of it.

To which, she told me she will discuss with her level coordinator again and get back to me… soon. This is the last week and I really hoped that they could explain to Audrey this week since it's all fresh in her mind. (So don't worry there will be another update on that)

BUT guys, before you condemn the school/teacher, or saying that it's ridiculous (come on admit it) the intention of the post was really NOT to declare war against the authority (it seems like it's a trend these days, but it's really not my cup of tea). It is also not to scare parents to see how hopeless the education system is or how the teachers should go back to NIE or try taking national exams again or whatever... (There are MANY dedicated teachers in the service who work very hard to look after a stranger's child while they can only pray that someone will look after theirs… and no… the tax you pay don't pay for their salaries because hello… they pay tax too!)

That blog entry was only humbling because it was only by taking time in the quiet moments of the night, looking from a 6 year old's point of view, and hoping to understand it better, did I realize that I had overlooked her alternative suggestion (which is not wrong!) 

Audrey wasn't misunderstood because her parent, i.e. me (this once) did it. But there's other kids who may not have been given another chance and even had their answers laughed at because, to us, it didn't make sense. 

Unfortunately, they could be your child/student. My question is, when the time comes, would you then, have celebrated his/her small successes or condemned him/her like the rest of the world?
The objective was then to say, yes they are kids and they may see things differently, but no, it may not be wrong.  

With that, I hope the essence of the entry was not lost. 

When a Math question teaches you a lesson on humility...

My (not so) little girl came home yesterday with her first English and Math tests. She scored 15/20 for both. The teacher commented that she could have done better if she had read the instructions properly.
I agreed with the teacher. I flipped through the papers in front of her to see what her mistakes were. They were mainly careless mistakes which could be avoided if she had put in greater effort while doing her test.

I told her immediately I was not happy with the results. I told her it's a shame that she got this grade because of her carelessness. (I'm not sure which is worse… to do badly because of carelessness or because they are clueless) From all my posts, I am sure you will know that I am not a person who will lower my expectations because she is my daughter. In fact, by doing so, I think she would only learn to expect second best for herself… from her work, life and even her future partner.

After the (mild) scolding, I told her to go and sleep after saying goodnight and apologizing for her poor performance. While putting the youngest to bed, my dear girl went under her blanket and was completely quiet. I knew immediately she was in tears. (Well… that's what I do when I don't want anyone to know I'm crying…. and… she IS my daughter after all) I waited for her to calm down, pulled the blanket aside, with both my hands on her face, I looked straight into her eyes and told her I love her no matter what the score was. She was still someone I was proud of and with her ability, she deserved to do better. She teared a little and with a kiss, she went back to bed.

This whole episode made me reflect on whether I had passed the test as a parent myself.

I wanted to see how other parents coped with this and I tried to google on articles or sharing about parents who have discussed the times when their kids didn't perform as well as expected. Hmm.. interestingly while there are tons of articles talking about behavior, hardly any site talked about this.

D had dinner with some friends last night and when he came back, I showed him the papers.
Unlike me, he tends to be the more relaxed parent. Not that he has low expectations of the kids, he just didn't think it was something we should sweat about. Unlike me too, he looked at the paper as a whole, not at the mistakes Audrey made. Laughed and said okay. (Really so difficult to say more than one word????)

When the kids slept and all was quiet… I looked through the paper again. This time at the small successes that I may have overlooked earlier. Audrey got her concept of addition (2 and 3 numbers) right… She understood how to form sentences with the words in different order… She wrote neatly… She completed her paper in the given time. :)

I looked for the things that I should look at as a parent, not a teacher… And then I saw this….
There's this question that she got wrong. The question asked how many eggs are left. I'm sure many of you, just like me, at first glance, not understand what she was thinking about. There's 7 eggs, 3 broke, why on earth should she put 3 + 1 = 4?

She didn't get the right answer because of "fluke". She got it because she saw the solution differently. She took the 3 eggs from the left and added to the 1 egg on the right to give the answer. Like what I mentioned in the email to the teacher, the standard way of marking didn't make room for a different way of solving the question. (Aren't you amazed how kids can surprise you at times?)

I'm fine if the teacher not reconsider accepting her way of solving the question… but I did mention to the teacher to be less ambiguous with the question should they not be ready to accept a different style of  answering.

Audrey has 'humbled' the teacher in me. While it doesn't discount the other careless mistakes she made, it does feel good to be proven wrong by her. :) (Okay… maybe if Ms. Smart Alec keeps doing it, it may not feel that good..)

When she came back from school today, I told her I appreciated her for seeing things from another point of view (I mean isn't this what we are encouraging nowadays) and that I actually learnt something new from her. She just smiled and continued doing her work assigned to her today. :)

With deeper reflection, I never asked her how she felt about getting such results. While I felt it was not good enough and I was very clear in showing my displeasure, she may have thought otherwise. Her feeling good at getting 15/20 is not a bad thing. In fact, just because she felt good getting 15/20, it doesn't mean she won't want to get a better score. So, while she got 15/20 for her test, I failed for mine.

That's the thing about Parenthood… Just like life and love, it's a mystery. It doesn't come with any manuals (since each child is different).. We can only pray that we don't screw up too much. I thank God that He has given kids an amazing ability to overlook the shortcomings of their parents no matter what… Isn't that after all His message to us too? :)

Looking back at Term 1...

Audrey has (almost) survived term 1 of school.

I remembered that she lost her wallet on the first day of school. I didn't know she lost it until at night when I asked for it. She didn't know where she lost it, how much she had inside and didn't feel bad losing it. (Winner.)

Knowing me, that was definitely not going to sit well with me. First, I didn't like the fact that she was completely nonchalant about it. Second, she didn't even tell me until I asked for it. I could have easily given her another wallet, but I didn't. Yes, she's my child but that doesn't mean that she needs not be responsible of the things given to her.

As a result, I placed her pocket money in a small ziplock bag. I could tell that she definitely felt the consequence of not looking after her things. The next day, she came home with her pocket money - in her ziplock bag. 

The following day when she came home, her ziplock bag had a tear. I saw it, but I kept quiet. Audrey asked that night if she could use a wallet instead, before I could say anything else, she told me she will not lose her wallet. I agreed and till now, she still has her wallet with her. (Well done girl!)

D felt I had been too harsh with her. He felt that I should have told her the importance of looking after her stuff rather than just going straight to a plastic bag as a wallet. My argument was the fact that she was unconcerned about losing the wallet, and not the act of losing it.

However, because I was the one who disciplined her, D decided not to overrule that.

In the middle of the term, Audrey came home with her Math workbook. Parents are required to sign it as a form of mid term review. She generally has gotten all her work correct, except some of it was done untidily. Her numbers were big and unsightly. Though it was marked, I told her to erase her work and redo it - neatly. I have seen her work before and she is capable of neat work. I emailed the teacher and told her to not accept any work from Audrey if it was ever done untidily. (The teacher must be thinking what's wrong with me…) Since then apparently her teacher told me her work has improved.

My rationale is that if she can do it before, she is definitely capable of doing it again and no one should discount it.

Time passed quickly and very soon it will be the first term's holidays. Audrey enjoys school life so far. Her usual recess meals are either sushi (mainly) or noodle soup. Out of the $2 ($0.40 goes to savings and tithings) she is given, she only spends $0.60-$0.80 a day. (She saves the rest when she comes home) Her "best" friend is Annabelle. Given her height, she is still second in class. (Like how is it possible you think… well… It is). She enjoys her netballs on Thursdays (I still don't understand why I had to pay $80 for this CCA for the whole year). 

Most days, when she comes home, she sits down 2 hours with me doing either English, Math or Chinese papers. (Yes it's only term 1, but she's not complaining… and I really don't see how it's different from putting her in tuition classes like berries or enrichments). I am proud that she can sit, without procrastinating, and finish her work. (I tell her this too… and all she did was smile widely) At least, I take ownership and make the effort to sit with her as well. 

Of course, again, different parents have different believes in this and maybe I am a tiger mum… So I guess different parents would have different views on it. 

I am sure Audrey is looking forward to the holidays, which we planned for a staycation and all. After all, all work and no play makes Jack (in this case Audrey) a dull boy (girl).

Let's hope that when it comes to the boys, I won't be strangling myself...