Saturday, March 7, 2015

Pak Thor after Marriage

We were supposed to catch up with some friends yesterday but unfortunately one of them fell sick so it was postponed to another day.

So since we were free, D and I thought we should do dinner outside and go "pak thor" (i.e. dating) just like before.
We wanted to watch movies but the shows we wanted to catch were either sold out or had only the lousier seats left. (I didn't feel too bad since the price difference as compared on a weekday is $5 per person) But that said… I guess half of Singapore also didn't know what to do on a Saturday night. So we went on to do the next "singaporean" thing - walk around in a shopping centre.

We reached NEX at about 9.30p.m and boy was it crowded. I wanted to go to the game arcade since that was what I did when I was younger, while the Mr didn't. D defined 'pak thor' as just window shopping and didn't think we should waste money. (Whatever.) We went to Popular though and I got some books for Julian and myself and a dictionary for the Indon helper. (HOW can not spend money on date one???)

We stopped by Toastbox for a drink and some snack. I don't know what got us talk about family gatherings and the dear husband said he is not going for any of my family gatherings with my grandpa henceforth. (yes… that is a start of a disagreement.. )

A summary of what happened - My grandpa had seen D some weeks back to make a new set of dentures. D had actually gone out of his way to help him by going to his place in the evenings to do his mould, skipped lunch so that he can attend to him etc and all this at $0. (Yes, he is really sweet, and I really appreciate him for this)
However, during the last visit at the clinic, grandpa was very irritated because his gums were swollen and he was in pain. He was being a pain as well and became rude to D who went out of his way to see him. (D was irritated but he didn't show it to him… where to find such a guy right?) Grandpa was so difficult that my uncle just took him home so that D could have a break. To be fair, if it were me, I think I would have told grandpa off longggggg ago.
In general, D can tolerate many things, but he doesn't like it when people are rude to him. As in, he really doesn't like it. Hence, he insisted that he will not attend any future gatherings with grandpa.
We actually discussed this on the night when it happened. However, because it was late, we decided to call it truce and discuss it another time when he feels less upset on the matter. We thought it was okay to do it another time because albeit he was angry, he wasn't upset with me or us.

I agreed with him that grandpa's behavior was uncalled for and he has the right to not see him as a patient henceforth. However, that aside, he is still family and regardless, a family gathering is not complete if either one is absent. (Yes, my family isn't perfect, but with God's grace, we try.)
My point to him was he had all the right to not see him as a dentist, but not as a grandson-in-law. While his point was, he just cannot stand rude people. Period. He also had his concerns. He might be further upset with grandpa if he was unreasonable again, so he rather not see him.

I felt his struggles, and I shared how things i do at times were not for his friends/family but for him. I have learnt too that in marriage one's joy can come from seeing another person happy and not because it makes me happy. (Yes, as much as I don't show it, I do love the  Mr quite a bit). He understood that, and he agreed that as hard as it is, he would do it for me, rather than for anyone else. He finally agreed on one condition, that he doesn't talk to grandpa on anything teeth related unless he apologizes (haha… let's just not talk about teeth). We had almost finished our drinks and snacks and thought it was time to go.
M: Where should we go now? (it was 10.45pm)
D: Go home la
M: Huh? How come when we pak thor before marriage, we always go home so late, now so early?
D: Ya.. Normally the date ends when the couple argues.

How not to love his wit? He was joking of course. And I did try to google some stuff to do:
1) Movies marathon
2) Play wii  (We wanted to but the controls weren't working…)
3) Visit Senoko Fishery Port (But that's at 2am onwards only)
4) Go Cosmic Bowling
5) Go to a comedy club

We ended up doing the movie marathon (with ONE movie) when we came back… But we do hope that we will somehow do the others soon…. That aside…. Besides putting the kids to sleep… what do married couples do at night????

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